Mum on speed - Collingwood
Aggro dad - Carlton
Grandpa with pipe - Melbourne
Grandma with bow-legs - Geelong
Evil uncle with dark, locked shed - Essendon
Crazy aunty with skin condition - Richmond
Fun-loving uncle with tears of a clown - W. Bulldogs
Philosophical aunty with gun collection - St Kilda
Creepy girl cousin in black dress - North Melbourne
Obnoxious boy cousin in V8 Turbo ute - Hawthorn
Flighty girl cousin who married a drummer - Sydney
Perplexed boy cousin who can't find happiness - Brisbane
Dad's old girlfriend who thinks she's part of the family - Adelaide
Mum's old boyfriend who wears bling and wants to kiss everyone - West Coast
The senile old guy from up the street who keeps wandering in - Port Adelaide
The stoned kid hiding under the couch we can't convince to leave - Fremantle