With friends like these ...

I don't want to talk politics ... I really don't.

All the negatives I could list about the Howard regime (and his sycophantic, economy-worshipping masses) are boring and you've heard smarter people than me say them already. Hating the Liberal Party is easy and ordinary, its evil excesses self-evident and simply awful.

So there'd be nothing at all to say about politics, if not for the fact that the ALP is just as rooted.

Now, I don't want the ALP to be rooted. It pains me that I live in a (fundamentally) two-horse town of a democracy, where one horse is lame and the other is insane. But every time I try to be optimistic (ie. "Fat Kim isn't quite so bad, is he?" or "That Julia Gilliard is way-sexy"), they do something to FUCK ME UP.

Actually, the more I think about it, the 'something' is just one thing which manifests in a heap of different ways. It's this: the ALP hates the Greens.

What? you ask. The ALP hates the Greens? How can that be? They're both lefty parties, IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. I was similarly shocked when the facts became clear ...

How did Family First win their Senate seat in Victoria? The ALP directed their preferences to Family First ahead of the Greens. AHEAD OF THE GREENS!

Yep, abortion is back on the table (the dusty table in the shed, not a sterile operating table) because the Victorian ALP got scared that some trees somewhere might need to be saved.

Yep, family values are a topic for consumption (in a rammed-down-your-throat way) because the Victorian ALP was scared that the occasional animal might need to be spared its torturous existence.

Thanks for that, ALP. And thanks for this from The Age -

Sen. Bob Brown regarding the deportation of Scott Parkin:

"Now what country are we in? Surely the Inquisition is behind us, surely the Salem witchcraft trials are some centuries ago ... but no, in the year 2005 this peaceful man advocating peace in our peace-loving democracy is picked up in a police state operation, had his visa removed ... and was deported without any due reason being given at all."

The ALP's response:

Labor justice spokesman Joe Ludwig said the opposition would not support the motion (ie. an Inquiry into the deportation) because security sensitive information should not be aired in public. Senator Ludwig said Opposition Leader Kim Beazley, who received a secret briefing on the Parkin issue, had been satisfied with the briefing.

THANK YOU, ALP.

Hope you enjoyed your secret briefing. And your seat at the table. And your thirty pieces.